First, let me start by saying a few things happened today that made me get irritated and therefore this is a rant. I will start at the end and work my way to the beginning of my day...
This was the last straw:
I received a text that went something like this:
"My 5yo child is not allowed to like cats. My 5yo child came home from a weekend at [the other parent's] house and told me he cannot like cats, because dogs are better. When I asked him if he did like cats my child informs me he is not allowed to like cats."
Now, I agree that dogs are better, however I fully disagree with the situation in which the parent has decided to bully the child. Bully, such a strong word over a cat/dog dispute, huh? Well, maybe not. The other parents in this situation has taken away the child's ability to think & reason for themselves and that really pisses me off. The parent also happens to be the same parent who informed the same child that the child is not allowed to like certain people, in fact the child was informed to hate certain people. This is NOT ok. Children are blank slates, they do not know hate when they are born, they are taught hate.
Side note:
I have raved about my parents in the past, but never did I realize how great they really were until I took classes for ITeRs/ECKeRs in my pre-school/child-care days. We were informed about how we needed all kinds of toys, girls, boys, every race, every culture in order to allow children to learn and think for themselves. We could not force the girls to play with dolls and the boys to play with trucks. In fact, let it be known that MANY boys would chose to play dress up in the pretty princess dresses, more often than the girls did. Back to my perfect parents. When I was little-- one, maybe two years old, I went to the store with my mom to pick out my very first Cabbage Patch kid. And wouldn't you know it.... I picked out PollyAnna, my black baby. Why? Because in my eyes my skin color was much closer to her skin color than it was to all the blond hair, blue eyed babies. I am Italian with very dark skin, dark eyes & dark hair. PollyAnna looked much more like me and that is the baby I chose. Did my mom stop me and say "no Julie, that's not the same color as you" ?? Nope. Did she say "No Julie the white baby is better" ?? Nope. Did she insist that I choose a different baby because of the way it might have made her feel?? Nope. We "adopted" PollyAnna and took her home. My mother never once said you shouldn't want this or like this. She never once shoveled hatred or was unaccepting of any one or thing. Yes, I grew up to hate cats, but that really occurred more as an adult-- when I was attacked by one, plus my allergies do not help. It was not because my mom or dad told me I had to hate them......
So why does this particular parent feel so compelled to bully their own child to hate certain things, people or places? Do you know what you get when you bully your children? You raise your child to be a bully. You raise your child to be close-minded and hateful. You raise your child to never be capable of thinking for themselves and instead to constantly give in to those who TELL them how to feel and act. Why would you want that for your child?
Ok, story number two:
This morning I was woken up around 550am. Not by my alarm, not by the tv, not by Ryan stealing the sheets.... nope. I was rudely woken up by the neighbor. The neighbor who, at 550am, thought it was the perfect time to say "Get your f*cking coat on, I will f*cking leave your @ss here, get it on now!!! Move, let's go, I will f*cking leave you. F*cking hurry up"........ I wish I was exaggerating. I truly wish I was!! I have called child protective services in the past because this same parent has screamed "I hate you" "I never wanted you" and so much worse (including calling her own child a "c0ck$ucker") but child services does not believe this is "abuse" unless it is physical. So you're telling me you can't bully other kids at school, because you might be expelled, but you can come home to your parents and be bullied by them and no one will protect you??
Why would you BULLY YOUR OWN CHILD?!?!!?
Every time you tell a child the word "hate" you are abusing their souls. "I hate your mother" "I hate you" "I hate cats".... you are feeding a child low self-esteem, abusing their minds, their hearts and you are breaking them down. You may not love your co-parent, but raising a child is not about loving your co-parent. It is about loving your child. Raising your child in love. Love them even though they might like cats more than dogs, even though they live with someone you do not like, even if you never planned to have a child-- LOVE THEM! Love them even though they make you late for work, even though you are exhausted and stressed. Love them because they look up to ALL their parents, their mothers, fathers, step-parents, grandparents and they need to know that you love them enough to accept who they are, even if you do not like where they came from, what they like or what they remind you of... they need you to be accepting of them.
More than anything, this world needs YOU-- the parent-- to parent while accepting them and loving them, because if you continue to raise children with hate or by bullying them you will continue this sad cycle of life-- where people hate others based on skin color, sexual orientation and body shape. You will continue the cycle where your child thinks it is ok to take away someone's worth simply because you disagree with them. The world needs you to love & accept everyone and let that be the lesson you teach your child. You need to choose to be positive influences not negative voices. Please remember it is not the child's fault your spouse or baby's momma/daddy left you. YOU may think you are doing the right thing, you may think you know all there is to know and that hatred is the right way, but you know nothing. Because if you knew everything then you would know the ONLY way to raise a child is in LOVE, not hate. It is not your child's fault they are in your life even if you do not want them to be. It is not your child's fault that YOU do not like certain things... let them be free to love, to accept and to be open-minded individuals. Teach them faith, hope and LOVE...
A letter from St Paul to the Corinthians:
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
No comments:
Post a Comment