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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Homemade Overnight Sweet Rolls-- YUM!

A few of you asked for the recipe, so I thought I would share. This breakfast has become a bit of tradition for Ryan and me. We had it for breakfast last Christmas and this year for Christmas Eve/Ryan's Birthday. A neighbor provided this recipe to my mom a few years ago and it is so delicious that it is just a must when you have guests spending the night at your house. You prepare it the night before, so the rolls have time to rise, the next morning, as people start waking up you preheat the oven, bake for less than a half hour and VOILA... YUMMY BREAKFAST!!
My bundt pan appears a little smaller than my mother's, but you just put the frozen rolls in the pan, side by side, with no space in between and they rise into one giant mound of deliciousness.... HERE YOU GO:

Ingredients:
1 pkg RHODES FROZEN DINNER ROLLS(10 to 20 actual rolls)
1 cup chopped pecans
1 pkg regular butterscotch dry pudding mix (cook & serve-- NOT instant)
1 stick butter/margarine melted
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

Directions:

The night before, right before you go to bed, you need to--
grease the bundt pan (this is very important, because you will dump the rolls onto a plate and you need it to just fall right out.)
Sprinkle pecans (crushed, chopped or however you want them) on bottom.
Arrange rolls around pan (remember, do not leave space, you can typically fit around 18-20 rolls in a normal size bundt pan)
Sprinkle dry pudding mix over rolls. (just open package and sprinkle over the rolls)
Mix melted butter, brown sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over rolls (pour the butter mixture on top, it'll drizzle down around the rolls to the bottom of the pan)

PLACE IN A COLD OVER OVERNIGHT.



The next morning (the rolls will have risen)
Remove rolls from oven and preheat oven to 350. Once the oven preheats, put rolls back in oven and
Bake 25 to 30 minutes.

Immediately invert rolls on to a large serving plate (careful, all the drippings will pour out-- this could get messy)..... and serve warm!!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Everyone tells you....

Communication is key. They all say (who ever "they" are) that if you want a marriage to work, communication is key. If you want to be successful at work, communication is key. It is true. It is 100% true. Absolutely, totally agree. Yep!
It seems communication is a sort of past-time. I won't bore you with the idea of how we are all losing personal communication skills by resorting to text messages, instead of phone calls, or emails as opposed to face-to-face encounters. Let's be honest, we are all busy and this is the day & age we live in. We NEED those handy-dandy communication tools to keep us moving. I hope you don't let it go unnoticed that it is because of these tools that we are communicating more. If it wasn't for facebook would I be able to communicate to so many people at the same time? Would I have been able to keep in touch with long lost friends or family? If it wasn't for twitter would you know what I have been up to today? Ok, so maybe you don't care, maybe I am over-sharing (more on this later) on facebook, maybe my boss shouldn't read this but that's completely not the point.

Communicating is key in most relationships, but it is even more important in business.

Planning our wedding has resulted in a lot of frustration because of lack of communication. I contacted a photographer through his website. He responded-- eventually. I wanted to discuss his services and what we would need and through emails we accomplished nothing, so we discussed meeting up... he never responded again. Needless to say, we will not be using him. He took his time responding to emails and when we attempted to handle business in person he couldn't be bothered to communicate. Ok, fine.
Of course, I am sure a few of you have heard me complain about the one & only rental company in NWA. I initially emailed them to set up a meeting. Met with the owner in person at one of his stores, eventually-- after he finally responded-- and then heard nothing. I was promised to hear a quote and when I finally did it was all wrong. I contacted him again, I waited & waited & waited to receive a response. I scheduled to meet with him in person (he showed up late), we again discussed everything all over again and I was still not happy.

The positive communicating...

I asked for recommendations for a Chicago photographer, for our engagement photos. I received about three recommendations, contacted all three and inevitably went with the one I felt understood what I needed. She was the first to respond. She "apologized" for the down time between booking our session and the next email (which was not necessary, because we did not have a lot to keep in touch about but an apology is always a good place to start), and I felt like she ACTUALLY cared. Now, as you all know I am beyond pleased with my photographer-- amazing! I highly recommend her. . The package she sent us went above & beyond with the lovely wrapping and the thank you note and she is simply amazing!!-- Her ability to communicate was just what I needed to trust we made the right decision.

After being officially annoyed with the linen rental company in NWA I decided to look online. I emailed "Cloth Connection" a simple inquiry. The what-do-I-need-to-do, what-can-you-do-for-me kind of email. She immediately responded in less than 24 hours with an if-I-can-help-in-any-way-let-me-know, thank-you-for-your-email, etc. When I emailed her a second time with a LONG email with information overload included she immediately responded (in less than 12 hours, as I sent the email at about 11pm) "thank you for your questions, I would be happy to look over all of this information and see how I can help, if you do not mind I can tackle this request more thoroughly next week-- after the holiday weekend, however, if you prefer I can give you a very basic overview before this weekend"... Whoa, what?! She actually responded so quickly? She said if I needed her to she would do every thing in her power to help me the day before she leaves on a holiday vacation? WOW! I am impressed that she even responded at all. Major bonus points for sure!

If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, it is the little things that matter most. The simple emails to say "I received your request, let me process it" or "thank you for meeting with me, I look forward to..." or even the "I am sorry"... it is so simple that most people over look how much it actually matters.

Business communicating is important, but Personal Relationships need it too...

Communicating in personal relationships, be it through facebook and twitter, can help keep people together. When you move away from your friends and family, like I have, you feel a lot of distance, but through social media you are able to stay up-to-date on day-to-day happenings that it makes the physical distance not seem so far. I have had a friend for over 25 years. We met in kindergarten and became bestfriends. I moved away in 6th grade, but we vowed to keep in touch. Over the years we exchanged letters, then eventually emails (yeah, when it was finally invented) and became facebook friends 20 years after our friendship began. Due to our willingness to make an effort to communicate, through all the available ways, we stayed in touch for 25years and we now live 45 minutes away from one another. I have seen her two times in the last three months and she was able to call me when she needed my help. Unfortunately, however, it can also result in your Maid of Honor "unfriending" you because you disagree with her status. Perhaps a face-to-face, or even over-the-phone conversation would have made her less defensive, maybe not. Our social media can be a blessing and a curse, but communicating with your friends and family helps keep you feeling close to one another, even through hundreds of miles of seperation.

"Over-communicating"... is that possible?

I mean, I realize that you shouldn't over-share, but are over-sharing and over-communicating two different things? I feel in business relationships you do not need to tell the client how aggravated you are at work (over-sharing) but you do need to let them know that you hear them, you want to help them, it may take time, but you will take care of what you can for them. Under-communicating (if that is how you want to say it) in business relationships will probably result in a pissed off client or you losing out on a client/return customer. They will also probably tell everyone they know about your lack of communication and you might lose out on future clients.
In personal relationships it is more difficult to decipher between over-communicating and over-sharing. I suppose it is it more "What they don't know won't hurt them" or "if I don't care if they find out and it does hurts them" thought. If you don't care if they eventually find out, then fine, don't say it-- chances are you were probably about to over-share, but if you do care, if it does hurt them... this would be a great moment to over-communicate!!

I suppose the point of this post is to say "It really does not matter how busy you are in your day, it is ALWAYS important to communicate with people". I suppose this is my rant on communicating. Who knew I was so passionate about communicating??....


HAPPY COMMUNICATING!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

guest list headaches & all that jazz











I have no intention of writing a blog to explain my actions, my thoughts or to offend anyone. That being said, when it comes to weddings I feel everyone is looking for explanations and drama. The guest list has been one humongous headache since we started, why? Mostly because I have always dreamt of my wedding, long before I was ever old enough to get married. I am a girly-girl right down to the unnecessary emotional breakdowns, the love for glamorous make-up, shoes and the need to daydream. I love day-dreaming about Prince Charming and weddings and babies. Heck, Ryan & I have already gotten into a disagreement on baby names and I am so not even pregnant yet. So, there it is... I said it. I am a girl who dreams big. So my wedding plans have great expectations. On that note it seems I am not the only one with expectations.

Of course I love my parents and I understand they have expectations. I would love to honor my parents wishes, if only it was that simple. So, my Dad has very simple wishes... get married in a Catholic church. That would be fine & dandy, except it's just not that easy. I hold out hope and pray daily that we can have our wedding in a Catholic church, but there is the "what if" factor. What if we can't??

That's where the Guest List headaches started.

If we cannot get married in a Catholic church we have VERY FEW options on locations for the ceremony. Which means we have to fit into the options we have, including the tiny little spaces that only hold about 150 people. Who would have ever thought it'd be difficult to keep UNDER 150 people? Not me. Until I realized I have 90 family members that are probably expecting invitations. (more on this below)... Yes, IF we cannot be married in a Catholic church then we must fit our entire guest list into a very tiny venue. That's where the guest list cuts began. That is where the headaches started. That is what caused 6 more gray hairs to pop up on my head. Ugh!! How can I limit my guest list? So many people want to be there, so many people should be invited... I'd invite the entire world, because I would love everyone to see us get married. However, we are in the "wait & see" phase of the game that God-- or the Archbishop or Pope or whoever-- is playing with us... the game in which, if I lose, I will lose ALL my sanity.

Now, this is not meant to hurt my family or cause a discussion about me not wanting you there (trust me, I know those of you that want to twist & turn my words around into some argument, save the drama for your momma & relax a little), that is not the case at all. I would love to see all my family, especially on my Dad's side because I simply have not seen ANY of you since ... funerals & weddings. That's all we get together for & it's been way too long since the last wedding. I want my family to come and have the best time ever! I want dancing and laughter. That being said there has to be limitation. I know that people will be offended when they find out I have limited the guest list to not include children, but there are so many reasons it is necessary.

So, aside from having to limit due to space for the ceremony here are the other reasons why...
I am one of the youngest of the cousins on my dad's side, which means there are LOTS of children & babies in the family. I am also going to be 31yo when I get married, most of my friends are already married, with children. In fact, I can count on one hand how many of my friends do not have children. That being said, if we included every single child on my guest list the list would have doubled- to an amazing amount of people. Whoa Nelly!! That alone should be completely sufficient in explaining why no children, but I know some of you might need more, so...
We are also having a sit-down served dinner in a Country Club. I have been to so many weddings, I have seen children play under the tables, pull on table clothes or take off running for the bathroom without looking around. I have also been a child who had an entire pot of coffee dumped on me, head-to-toe, and I realize even the most well-behaved children, in the safest of all areas (Grandma's house??) can still get hurt. Isn't it just easier to play it safe? I know those that have kids, for the most part, have already had their weddings. Which means you understand the guest list headaches and the trying to please everyone. I know your children are very important to you-- I completely understand. However, there is always need to draw a line somewhere and this is where I chose to draw it.
Now, most of my friends have already made arrangements for babysitters, even my cousin Melanie-- who is expecting twins in July-- is making plans for childcare, so we do not seem to have an issue yet. However, if traveling to Northwest Arkansas without your children is a problem, please know I am the BEST person to talk to about this problem. If you have questions it is ME you want to direct them to, and I will gladly help in any way, shape or form.

As I said I understand your children are important, traveling without them might seem insane, so please know we are doing our best to accomodate you in every way we can, because YOU are important to us-- and therefore your children are important too. We do not intend to leave children out of every aspect of the wedding, we have even looked-into awesome, family-friendly rehearsal dinners and most importantly... I was the most sought-after babysitter in the area (yes, I toot my own horn from time-to-time), I know people. We have many methods for making this reception a "no-kid-zone, but totally family-friendly" if that makes sense at all. In other words, just because your children will not be AT the reception, enjoying an amazing meal, does not mean you can't come too... We have ways to help-- please just ask!! Seriously, when you hear some of our solutions you will gladly choose to take us up on the offer, just so you can come and your children won't have to be left home alone (not that I think any of you would choose leaving your children home alone). Also, just so everyone is aware, I realize that NOT including children is a very touchy subject, that can result in people "boycotting" weddings. Yes, seriously. I also know that people get very offended on the matter. Please realize we aren't singling any certain person out. We just choose to watch the size of the guest list and choose to play it safe.

Ok, so family & children-- covered. Now the rest of the guest list. If you receive an invitation and think to yourself you are only being invited because we want gifts please understand a few things:
We would NEVER invite someone just to get a gift!
If you don't feel important enough to come to the wedding we do not expect a gift!
We have limited our invitations and therefore we thought that you were one of the few who should be there, for one reason or another, but it has nothing to do with a gift!
We aren't even expecting gifts-- we realize times are tough, we are asking so many of you to travel, gifts are not even at the top of our concerns!
Some of you are probably wondering why I included that?? I never realized people thought invitations meant gifts. It never dawned on me, but I guess it is a concern to others... Here's the best way I can describe the gift/invitation issue:
While gifts are awesome, fun & appreciated, we do not expect them. We do not have everything we could ever want when it comes to kitchen appliances or bedding, but we do have a house, a bed and food for our belly, so we will survive!! September 1, 2012 is not about receiving the most amount of gifts, it is about marrying the man of my dreams and starting a life together as husband & wife. My most precious gift will be the moment we are officially vowed to one another for the rest of our lives. The second greatest gift will be having you there to witness, what I can only imagine to be, the most stressful AND happiest day of our lives!!
Does that cover the guest list questions, concerns and headaches?? Let me be honest with you, guest list concerns have been added to the list of "it could stress me out, but why do I have to let it" items. That list is long & annoying, but at least I can attempt to let go of the stresses of NO VENUE, NO DRESS, NO MAID OF HONOR and the "am I going to piss someone off over invitations". As part of my New Years Resolution that I already began earlier this month, I have decided to Let Go & Let God. I do not want things driving me into tears or stress or anything else. I want to find joy in everything I do, including the joy in the stress of wedding planning. I finally feel FREE & ALIVE!!! Weird, huh?!

Monday, December 12, 2011

This time last year...


Ryan and I had planned to spend the holidays with just the two of us. My Grandma was in her final weeks after a short 8 month battle with lung cancer and of course my mom was spending every moment she could with her mom. I decided to avoid the craziness of the entire family being together, smushed into one place, at Christmas and opted for a longer visit, before the craziness, with just my Grandma & Mom. I wanted to be with her, get in some quality time and avoid the madness that always ensues when the ENTIRE family gets together for the holidays. That's a lot of people in one space & it just always seems to get loud, crazy... I opted for quality time instead. So as Christmas approached, after my visit with my grandparents, I finished some shopping, wrapping presents, and decorated the house. My mom was not home and my dad did his job of pulling out all the decorations and putting the tree up, but it was up to me to make sure Ryan & I had a CHRISTMAS-y house.


Christmas Eve my poor, sweet puppy wrenched his back, some how. Not too unusual for a dachshund dog, but I spent the morning at the vet getting emergency pain-killers and muscle relaxers for the sweetest puppy!! One might think that I am completely insane for how we spent the rest of the holiday week.... Riley could not walk up and down the stairs, so we pulled out the blow-up mattress and we slept downstairs, in the man-cave/basement, on the floor, so my baby would not be alone. Yes, he's that spoiled and yes, I am completely ok with it. I'm a firm believer that dogs are the closest thing to God as they practice unconditional love better than any human being ever has on Earth!! Riley, my puppy, deserved to have a happy Christmas with his best friend (me) and his brother (Reggie) and of course Ryan. He might have been doped up, but he was happy.
So, while my mom was taking care of her mom, I was home taking care of my doggy and we all celebrated a very different Christmas than ever before. Taking care of the ones we love who weren't able to care for themselves, trying to make the best of the situation. To say it wasn't exactly how I ever imagined spending Christmas would be an understatement, but it's not one I would trade. Christmas Eve also happened to be Ryan's birthday. While I tried to take him out on a date-night, that became afternoon (sorry Ryan, but your birthday falls second to taking care of my puppy-- I will make sure it never falls second to Christmas EVE because you only get one birthday a year, but sick/hurt puppy... yeah, sorry, definitely puppy first!) it wasn't exactly the best birthday I could have provided.

Christmas morning we woke up early, opened gifts, ate home-made sweet rolls, and then napped and relaxed the rest of the day. It was pretty nice, actually, just the two of us and the puppies. In a quiet house, relaxing.









Fast-forward....
Christmas 2011. Ryan & I live together now, in our own little house, with our own tiny little tree. I get to spend the weeks leading up to Christmas alone, because Ryan is traveling during the week for work. We will not get to see my parents until the weekend following Christmas (two years in a row not spending Christmas with the parents-- when did I become an adult?? I have not decided if I am ok with this yet)... and we will again have our very own quiet little Christmas morning together. Followed by an afternoon at Ryan's Grandma's house. My first holiday with the soon-to-be in-laws. Yes, I am a little nervous. Holidays with other people's family is very weird. I mean I have had so many holidays with my family that we don't call it "tradition" it's just second nature the way we do things at our house. So to see how other people attempt to celebrate a holiday will never be completely perfect, because it's not the way I'm used to-- that being said it's not that I fear their traditions or that I am concerned they are "doing it wrong" it's just hard to come to grips with leaving everything you've ever known behind and trying to balance it with "strangers." Yes, I know my future in-laws are not "strangers" but since everything is new to me up here it kind of feels that way. Ryan and I will create our own traditions and some how manage to balance it all to a happy median between his childhood and mine. that being said... Buckle up kiddos, this might be a crazy ride!!

Also, Christmas Eve, as most of you call it, happens to be Ryan's 30th Birthday this year. I would like to do something so much better than last year, but being unemployed during this time does not make it easy to do it all. Yes, before you go about doing the math, Ryan is younger than me, but we were born in the same year, so... ShhhhHH!!!!
Any tricks people can offer on how to celebrate 30 in a fun, affordable way?? Let's be honest, I am lucky that Ryan has said "I just want to spend it with you" but it just doesn't feel right. I mean we'll have plenty of birthdays, just us, at home-- I think that's what 31-39 are all about, right?? But then again, being that we are home-bodies at heart... A nice, relaxing, quiet night doesn't sound too bad to me. PLUS, Ryan will be working on the road all this month, so I kind of like having just Julie & Ryan time when we can squeeze it in since he'll be gone 13 days out of the next 20 days!!

Isn't it funny how things change in a year. We went from quiet, just us holidays to trying to meld separate family traditions into one. Celebrating Ryan's birthday alone with my first attempt at a layered cake & an afternoon date, to now figuring in how to make appearances at family functions and also not losing Ryan's birthday to the holiday fuss! It sucks having your birthday fall on holidays or near holidays-- so many expectations to do this or that and people always over-look that it's your one birthday a year!! Crazy to think how this could change, yet again, next year. Ryan & I will be married and who knows where we'll be living and what to expect!! As long as all my holidays, from here on out, are with Ryan I think we can handle it. As long as the Eve of Holidays never out-weighs the birthday celebrating, as long as the loved ones in our life come first to any commercialized celebration... we will survive the insanity that is DECEMBER-- Holiday time!!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

What goes up, must come down...

Today's blog post was going to be about the HOPE we have for our CHURCH location. Seems my Dad had a couple conversations with the church that gave us hope. There is something to be said about living in the Bible Belt, surrounded by Baptists when you need a CATHOLIC Church... But suddenly all that hope came to a crashing stop.

I am suddenly without a Maid of Honor. I received a phone call this morning that informed me that I am too argumentative, I constantly belittle my friends and therefore my friends live in fear of ever posting anything on my facebook page (aren't we too old for facebook to be ruining friendships??)... that was the first part of the conversation. I tried to get her to slow down & just talk to me, instead of yelling at me and she told me I am not her mother, don't tell her what to do.
As I attempted to wrap my brain around what had just blown up in my face all I could think was.... what?!?! I was informed that I am basically not a good friend, always looking for an argument and that I took something someone ELSE had said and blew it out of proportion.
***Background: Someone (not my MoH) informed me the reason I do not have a dress or church is because maybe God is telling me to slow down, which-- being stressed out and not expecting THAT response to a post about Albert Pujols-- immediately saw it as ONE MORE PERSON telling me what I am doing with my wedding is wrong and God doesn't want me to get married. << Insert emotional breakdown >> I'll admit it may have been blown out of proportion, but I honestly think it's a bad idea to tell a Bride that God does not approve of what you are doing-- if He wants me to slow down or not get married that is beside the point-- of course there was the added lecture about how if I married Ryan, in the Churches eyes, I'd be marring an already married man-- that of course did not help the situation of me being calm & willing to listen to this particular friend tell me my marriage would be unrecognized by the church & therefore fake.***

I began to sob as the conversation went on, as my former Maid of Honor said it was too much a financial burden, she couldn't commit time, money, or even help in any way shape or form. Ok, I get that. I'm pretty sure we could have come to some solution on how to overcome those obstacles if you wanted, but ... oh wait... here it comes again... She says it has been weighing on her for a while, I'm too argumentative, mean, I hurt her feelings. (I rarely talk to my MoH, let's be honest. I guess she is taking everything from Facebook, because I cannot tell you the last time her & I talked on the phone... that should have been a sign.) Ok, so "slow down, I'm hearing a lot of things, I need to wrap my brain around it".... Her response: "You sound like my father!!" What the hell is going on?? Ok, so she proceeds to tell me how her life is difficult, ok, I understand. I'm willing to listen to you cry about your terrible life, I always have been. What's wrong? Nope, no time for that, we're back to how much I suck as a human being. Wow. This is the least fun phone conversation I have ever had. I do not know where the conversation could have gotten better & quite frankly I had cried enough on the phone. She said she might look back and regret losing our friendship and I could de-friend her on Facebook if I wanted to, so there did not seem to be anything else left to say. It ended with me saying "Good Luck" and hanging up.

Let me just say, I will take 100% of the blame for being a terrible friend. I suck. It's true. Sometimes I argue. Sometimes I pass judgment. Sometimes I just plain suck. I'm truly sorry if that is the only reason you feel the need to back-out on the wedding. But to say to me you're done with the friendship.... that's what hurts the most.
So... I'm without a ceremony site, a dress & now a friend. I did not know wedding planning was this difficult. I didn't know everything I'd lose. What's the point of having a wedding if this is what you have to go through........

So, Ryan, about that eloping.... any takers!?

PS: This seems incredibly childish-- this I understand. This chewing out I received seems to have stemmed from FACEBOOK and statuses about Albert Pujols. I realize how juvenile it is to only communicate with people on social media and how horrible it is to lose a friend over it, perhaps that is why this hurts so much. I never ever thought it would come to this... but as I wipe the tears away because of a friend I lost, let me just say... I still have the love of my life and regardless of ceremony sites, dresses & maid of honor I will marry my best friend, the man of my dreams (& prayers) and everything will be just fine.

Monday, December 5, 2011

To elope, or not to elope, that is the question??


This picture was found by googling Crystal Bridges Images. This is the bird's eye view of the beautiful facility mentioned below!


Ryan & I have been engaged since August. We set the wedding date for September 1, 2012. This date was a fairly easy choice for us. I basically provided him two choices, one being May 12 (our dating anniversary) because it falls on a Saturday and it would be fun to have just one anniversary. Or September 1. That is the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. I like the idea of being married over Labor Day weekend because my parents were married that weekend 34 years ago and I have a couple cousins who were also married over that long weekend-- which seems to be a good omen, they are still going strong. It also happens to be my Grandma's birthday. My grandmother just passed away in January after 8 months of fighting Lung Cancer. It was a short amount of time really, it went by too fast and it's hard to believe she won't be around for our wedding. That being said I called my Grandpa and asked my mom if they would see any problem with being married on Grandma's birthday. Both said they thought it was a fabulous, wonderful, fantastic idea. Ryan decided on September 1, so the planning began immediately.

We decided to get married in Arkansas, because that is where we met and because my parents live there. I enjoy the area because it's not as expensive as trying to tie the knot in Chicago, a lot of "small town" aspects like conveniently having everything right there, but it brings up a few struggles. Ryan & I now live in Illinois, we are ten hours away from all the wedding planning. AHHH!!! The other issue, besides being ten hours away, is that there is not much choice. We are having difficulty dealing with the rental company, the ONLY rental place in Northwest Arkansas, who doesn't seem to understand how important communication is, and then of course we have NO CEREMONY SITE!!! What?!?!?! STILL!?!?! ARGH!!!

We wanted, more than anything, to be married at Crystal Bridges, brand new beautiful museum built in Northwest Arkansas. Unfortunately they will not let us use the facility until 6pm at night. We have already reserved the reception site and I just don't want to have a ceremony at 6pm, then RUSH our guests over to another site for the dinner, dancing & fun. I mean I am a firm believer in tradition and I do not want to see my groom until I am walking down that aisle. For us, waiting until 6pm to do that is not only difficult to wait that long (we actually love spending time together, so spending an entire day, especially our wedding day, away from one another just does not seem right!) Plus it's a waste. We wouldn't do pictures during the day, we wouldn't get to do much of anything, so.... I'm just not a fan of that idea.

So we are still without a ceremony site, which brings up the biggest debate. Should we elope? Can we elope? Will I regret eloping? The thing is we could easily elope and just have a formal reception/dinner/party in September since we already reserved all the reception stuff. We already reserved the site, the flowers, the cake, the DJ... so, can we elope? Ryan's afraid I'll regret it & sometimes I think I will too. I am Catholic. I'm Italian. I have always wanted that long aisle, the stain-glass windows, the hour long ceremony (hey, I'm going to be dressed in a beautiful gown & promising a life time of love to the love of my life-- i don't think a ceremony should be rushed through!!) Of course, the Catholic church will not reserve our date because Ryan is still going through the annulment process, plus all the Catholic churches in Northwest Arkansas are the standard semi-circle church now-a-days. There is no GIANT, beautiful aisle to walk down. So much of the life-long wedding dreams are just not falling into place and so it makes me wonder... do we elope? If I cannot get the perfect dream wedding do I go with just Ryan & me vowing our love to one another in a simple, just us ceremony. I mean it would cut down on Julie-Stress. (Being slightly obsessive-compulsive, total control-freak, and completely prone to emotional-meltdowns and tears flowing a the drop of a pin.)

Our simple red-romance, classic-white, traditional wedding is full of questions, lacking in answers. I realize we are still over 8 months away, but between annulments, no Catholic churches, no ceremony site and ten hours away from it all.... will it ever come together?