I have no intention of writing a blog to explain my actions, my thoughts or to offend anyone. That being said, when it comes to weddings I feel everyone is looking for explanations and drama. The guest list has been one humongous headache since we started, why? Mostly because I have always dreamt of my wedding, long before I was ever old enough to get married. I am a girly-girl right down to the unnecessary emotional breakdowns, the love for glamorous make-up, shoes and the need to daydream. I love day-dreaming about Prince Charming and weddings and babies. Heck, Ryan & I have already gotten into a disagreement on baby names and I am so not even pregnant yet. So, there it is... I said it. I am a girl who dreams big. So my wedding plans have great expectations. On that note it seems I am not the only one with expectations.
Of course I love my parents and I understand they have expectations. I would love to honor my parents wishes, if only it was that simple. So, my Dad has very simple wishes... get married in a Catholic church. That would be fine & dandy, except it's just not that easy. I hold out hope and pray daily that we can have our wedding in a Catholic church, but there is the "what if" factor. What if we can't??
That's where the Guest List headaches started.
If we cannot get married in a Catholic church we have VERY FEW options on locations for the ceremony. Which means we have to fit into the options we have, including the tiny little spaces that only hold about 150 people. Who would have ever thought it'd be difficult to keep UNDER 150 people? Not me. Until I realized I have 90 family members that are probably expecting invitations. (more on this below)... Yes, IF we cannot be married in a Catholic church then we must fit our entire guest list into a very tiny venue. That's where the guest list cuts began. That is where the headaches started. That is what caused 6 more gray hairs to pop up on my head. Ugh!! How can I limit my guest list? So many people want to be there, so many people should be invited... I'd invite the entire world, because I would love everyone to see us get married. However, we are in the "wait & see" phase of the game that God-- or the Archbishop or Pope or whoever-- is playing with us... the game in which, if I lose, I will lose ALL my sanity.
Now, this is not meant to hurt my family or cause a discussion about me not wanting you there (trust me, I know those of you that want to twist & turn my words around into some argument, save the drama for your momma & relax a little), that is not the case at all. I would love to see all my family, especially on my Dad's side because I simply have not seen ANY of you since ... funerals & weddings. That's all we get together for & it's been way too long since the last wedding. I want my family to come and have the best time ever! I want dancing and laughter. That being said there has to be limitation. I know that people will be offended when they find out I have limited the guest list to not include children, but there are so many reasons it is necessary.
So, aside from having to limit due to space for the ceremony here are the other reasons why...
I am one of the youngest of the cousins on my dad's side, which means there are LOTS of children & babies in the family. I am also going to be 31yo when I get married, most of my friends are already married, with children. In fact, I can count on one hand how many of my friends do not have children. That being said, if we included every single child on my guest list the list would have doubled- to an amazing amount of people. Whoa Nelly!! That alone should be completely sufficient in explaining why no children, but I know some of you might need more, so...
We are also having a sit-down served dinner in a Country Club. I have been to so many weddings, I have seen children play under the tables, pull on table clothes or take off running for the bathroom without looking around. I have also been a child who had an entire pot of coffee dumped on me, head-to-toe, and I realize even the most well-behaved children, in the safest of all areas (Grandma's house??) can still get hurt. Isn't it just easier to play it safe? I know those that have kids, for the most part, have already had their weddings. Which means you understand the guest list headaches and the trying to please everyone. I know your children are very important to you-- I completely understand. However, there is always need to draw a line somewhere and this is where I chose to draw it.
Now, most of my friends have already made arrangements for babysitters, even my cousin Melanie-- who is expecting twins in July-- is making plans for childcare, so we do not seem to have an issue yet. However, if traveling to Northwest Arkansas without your children is a problem, please know I am the BEST person to talk to about this problem. If you have questions it is ME you want to direct them to, and I will gladly help in any way, shape or form.
As I said I understand your children are important, traveling without them might seem insane, so please know we are doing our best to accomodate you in every way we can, because YOU are important to us-- and therefore your children are important too. We do not intend to leave children out of every aspect of the wedding, we have even looked-into awesome, family-friendly rehearsal dinners and most importantly... I was the most sought-after babysitter in the area (yes, I toot my own horn from time-to-time), I know people. We have many methods for making this reception a "no-kid-zone, but totally family-friendly" if that makes sense at all. In other words, just because your children will not be AT the reception, enjoying an amazing meal, does not mean you can't come too... We have ways to help-- please just ask!! Seriously, when you hear some of our solutions you will gladly choose to take us up on the offer, just so you can come and your children won't have to be left home alone (not that I think any of you would choose leaving your children home alone). Also, just so everyone is aware, I realize that NOT including children is a very touchy subject, that can result in people "boycotting" weddings. Yes, seriously. I also know that people get very offended on the matter. Please realize we aren't singling any certain person out. We just choose to watch the size of the guest list and choose to play it safe.
Ok, so family & children-- covered. Now the rest of the guest list. If you receive an invitation and think to yourself you are only being invited because we want gifts please understand a few things:
We would NEVER invite someone just to get a gift!
If you don't feel important enough to come to the wedding we do not expect a gift!
We have limited our invitations and therefore we thought that you were one of the few who should be there, for one reason or another, but it has nothing to do with a gift!
We aren't even expecting gifts-- we realize times are tough, we are asking so many of you to travel, gifts are not even at the top of our concerns!
Some of you are probably wondering why I included that?? I never realized people thought invitations meant gifts. It never dawned on me, but I guess it is a concern to others... Here's the best way I can describe the gift/invitation issue:
While gifts are awesome, fun & appreciated, we do not expect them. We do not have everything we could ever want when it comes to kitchen appliances or bedding, but we do have a house, a bed and food for our belly, so we will survive!! September 1, 2012 is not about receiving the most amount of gifts, it is about marrying the man of my dreams and starting a life together as husband & wife. My most precious gift will be the moment we are officially vowed to one another for the rest of our lives. The second greatest gift will be having you there to witness, what I can only imagine to be, the most stressful AND happiest day of our lives!!
Does that cover the guest list questions, concerns and headaches?? Let me be honest with you, guest list concerns have been added to the list of "it could stress me out, but why do I have to let it" items. That list is long & annoying, but at least I can attempt to let go of the stresses of NO VENUE, NO DRESS, NO MAID OF HONOR and the "am I going to piss someone off over invitations". As part of my New Years Resolution that I already began earlier this month, I have decided to Let Go & Let God. I do not want things driving me into tears or stress or anything else. I want to find joy in everything I do, including the joy in the stress of wedding planning. I finally feel FREE & ALIVE!!! Weird, huh?!
No comments:
Post a Comment