Rant of the day has absolutely 100% to do with my life, so I will say exactly what I think, without holding back...
I have become frustrated with people commenting on my life, thinking they know what I am actually going through. No, I guess you could say I have never had it "tough" or struggled through a life without 100% support of my family-- my incredible parents!! But that doesn't make my life "easy"... so don't assume you can add your two cents about how I'm just "spoiled" and if only I "knew what tough really was" and whatever else YOU think you know.
Excuse me if I'm not cheery and doing cartwheels every single day. I left behind my parents, my puppies, my friends, my job-- just to be with Ryan. Do I regret it? No. I love Ryan and I would give up everything to be with him (obviously) but that doesn't mean I have to be happy all the time. There is no place in this world that has it ALL, but think about this, my entire life was here in Arkansas, except Ryan. His entire life is in Illinois, except me. So what is one to do?? How does one fix that problem? The idea of giving up on Ryan was NEVER an option. I count my blessings everyday that I have him-- who else would love ME, for being ME!
--Without being incredibly mushy and gush about everything I love about him, let me just say I honestly believe there is someone for everyone and he balances me, embraces me, supports me and completes me. I'm lucky to have found that-- so no, I'm not letting that go and no, I do not regret letting other things go in order to keep us together.
That being said, there are things you should know about me, before you assume you know. I went to college & I studied Communication. And told every single person I met that I wanted to work in Events and planning for Nascar or Baseball. I wanted to plan things like the Cardinals Winter Warm-Up or plan meet & greets. I also wanted to help plan interaction in charity events. These were the things I said I wanted to do, the things I went to college for and got a degree in. It is what I spent 8 years after college trying to work my way into it. And then came the Naturals. Where I did community relations, planned all our interaction with the community, through donations, or appearances. I did the on-field promotions at every game. And I was sold. It was EVERYTHING I thought I wanted to do and it was everything I expected it to be. I had finally found the job I was looking for to kick start my career in the field I studied in college...
Now, can you imagine working 12 years to get somewhere, just to get there and then choosing to leave it behind??? I knew Ryan was never happy in his job in Arkansas, and I supported him following his path that could lead to his dream career. I told him to go for it, after he said he wouldn't. I sent him away with cards and emails, telling him I believed in him, and although I cried a lot when he left, I knew it was what he had to do.
I would love a job I love, not one I have to do just to get a paycheck. But coming to terms that I left behind the job I loved and now may have to settle on a paycheck job... to say it's heartbreaking would be an understatement. So if you're going to open your mouth to comment on my life, why don't you use that moment to say a prayer, that I find my career in Illinois, so Ryan & I can be together, both employed, both happy.
PS: I love baseball. I love it has a fan and as an employee. so on that note: GO CARDS!!!!
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