I have been struggling with so many things over the last six months. To move away from my friends & family, without a job. Being homesick and torn between being "home" with my family and "home" with my fiance. I never want to choose between the two, it's been so difficult and a struggle for the last six ..... nope, for the last year. I am happy I moved back and desperately wishing and hoping that Ryan finds a job down here, because I need him here with me. The stress and the ups & downs have resulted in me becoming a moody, irritable and pretty much crazy person. I am not the person I strive to be, I am not the person I know that I can be, that I am, because my heart is torn... and because of that I owe this blog to my love...
Ryan, my Knight in Shining Armor, the love of my life, the only person who has ever loved me for me, I am sorry I have been a crazy lady who picks fights with you, who is short with you, who doubts the words you say-- you are the most amazing person I have ever met. Even when I am entirely insane you support me, you love me and you forgive me. I owe you my undying love because you, you have never let me wander in my crazy thoughts too long. I am sorry. I am sorry for all the ways I test you, your patience and your sanity. You are wonderful, supportive, and some days I wonder how I got so lucky, so lucky to have found you and to have you in my life. You are the most amazingly perfect man and I love you. Now & forever.
In order for LESS crazy Julie and more Julie Julie.... hurry home, please. I love you!
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