The importance of teaching love & family to my baby...

I hope to teach my child about love and family, the way my parents (& grandparents) taught me. My parents always let us learn the valuable lessons, but were there to pick us up when we fell. They told us from as far back as I can remember that no matter how angry or sad you feel today, those are not feelings you have to take to tomorrow (a nicer way of saying "you'll get over it") and I remember that when I fight with my sibling, when work becomes too challenging, when I feel like my world caved in, when I may think of giving up or giving in. I have faith that tomorrow will be better, I hope that my struggles will teach me to be stronger and that no matter what, I am loved.

I want to teach my child these things, but I also feel the need to protect him from learning the hard lessons, especially at such a young age (he can learn them when he's 18-- HAH!) I know I can't protect him from disappointment. I know I can't protect him from hurt. But I'm his mommy & if I can help it, I will do my best to ensure he doesn't have to learn those things yet. His first lesson should be that no matter what HE IS LOVED!

His family should be something he can always count on. We should be there to pick him up, not knock him down. We should be there to guide him when he feels lost and ensure he knows, that no matter what he does, he will ALWAYS be loved. That is family! No disagreement or disappointment will ever take our love away.

I am reminded of my favorite bible passage, the one I was raised by-- it was written on our walls in our home and it is how my family lives, to the best of our abilities-- A letter from St Paul to the Corinthians. These are the lessons I want my child to learn. This is what I want my child to take away knowing about his family...

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

• I always knew this passage to mean that love means you do not do the good things, just to be rewarded (or boast), but rather you do it for love, even if you get nothing in return.
• I knew this to mean that speaking that you love (or that you focus on family) just to tell others, but do not practice that with love in your heart is just you merely making noises and your words are useless.
• I knew this passage meant that bringing up the past, keeping records of how you've been wronged or how others may have failed is not love, but forgiving wholly, loving completely is the only way to have any faith or hope.
• You don't make practice of gossip or exaggerating or building your life up while tearing others down, because the truth is all that matters is love, with God, in heaven.
• If you don't have love, then you have nothing.

To me, this passage is about family. The family you are born to and the family your marriage creates-- hence the reason this passage is read at many weddings and was even posted on our tables! My family (mom, dad, brother) are the sort of people that will always be there for me.  My family (Ryan & Conner) will always be there & I will always love them!! We are not perfect, but it always comes back to the fact that unconditionally we love each other and refuse to let the noisy words or past drown out the faith we have that we love each other & we always will... I want my child to have a sibling they can argue with or disagree with, but still know that, no matter what, we don't turn our backs on one another. I know he already has two parents and grandparents who, no matter what, will always love him!

LOVE, L-O-V-E means we don't delight in struggles of others, we don't help just to be rewarded, we don't keep track of who has done us wrong, we don't gossip or create drama, because it means we love. Unconditionally. Whole-heartily. Love!

I want Conner to take that with him in his life, to love others, but I want him to know that he is loved. Always. For ever & ever & always.